The natural world accepts you as you are, without judgment. I love hiking and climbing. Once talking with a climbing partner we agreed on our only rules were: Use your gear right. Be nice to your belayer. Eat enough, drink enough, have enough clothes if the weather turns. See the rock, the woods, sky and water around you -- and your practical, functional body in which you move through this world.
Wow. I am blown away by your writing. Absolutely beautiful. Also I identify with this. I have felt this feeling when doing physical activity such as this. Also for me, perhaps surprisingly, giving birth to my child helped my gender dysphoria. Beforehand I was so afraid of being pregnant, of giving birth, and of breastfeeding, because I felt so utterly disconnected from my “femininity” and worried that I would feel a deep pain at having to go through these “feminine” experiences. However, I felt the opposite of pain. I suddenly felt that I possessed an incredible bodily utility, a sense I had never felt before to that degree. It disconnected me from my self-consciousness about my body. I forgave my body, the body that I had been angry at for so many years, and I finally allowed myself to just exist as a human creature. I stopped analyzing myself and wondering what life would be like if my body was different. I was just thankful for my body and what it had done. I never expected it in a million years. But there it was.
I am glad you found the feeling your way. I hope for everyone that they can find something that gives them that sense of empowerment in their body.
Thank you for your story; it's really lovely and you're a really good writer. I have a genetic disorder that causes chronic pain, and sometimes I hate my body because of the pain it causes me. This part of your story reminds me of times I've also felt disconnected or far from home in my body, and how being in creation's goodness (I'm a Christian so I'm speaking from that framework) reminds me that I was also created for good, even though things are not "right" in my body now. Those mountaintop moments where we are united with the goodness around us are a foretaste (to me) of how everything will be set right and made new. Peace be with you :)
I love this. I tramp in NZ which is called hiking in the USA. I love living in my female body and maybe it's because I got to do this from when I was 12? And got to wander on my own as a 6 year old. So my body was always more than anyone looking at it. Good luck on your journey.
"Now, to be clear: I’m not trying to say that mountain climbing is a widely-applicable treatment for gender dysphoria. Not at all."
Funny you should say that ... I've just started a substack about the effects of wireless technology (microwave radiation) on health and the environment. As someone who fits the (essentially meaningless these days) category of 'trans' AND who suffers terribly from microwave sickness (so called 'electrosensitivity'), I have much to say on both topics.
To cut to the chase, I absolutely believe based on my research and life experiences that the explosion of dysphoria and identity related issues we have witnesses over the last 10-20 years is a direct result of the adoption of wireless tech (wifi, cell phones etc) which is having a devastating effect on our bodies (literally causing us all to vibrate at the wrong frequencies).
Those born at the turn of the millennium are the first generation in history to live their whole lives in a 'microwave soup'. Essentially, they have been born on an alien planet (relative to every previous generation). Microwaves belong in space. We are not evolved to cope with them.
Microwaves are known to cause personality changes, depression, anxiety, insomnia, a sense of doom, nausea, a feeling of revulsion etc. Many people can no longer stand to be around wireless technology (myself included).
Obviously there are all sorts of (mostly nefarious) agendas, politics, ideologies and other forms of 'meddling' attaching themselves to the topic of gender (and I do not wish to downplay their influence), but I believe microwave poisoning is a HUGE piece of the puzzle which is totally missing from the current 'discourse'.
Feel free to check out my blog (just started, bear with me) and let me know what you think :)
Loved this piece BTW and enjoyed your interview with B Boyce. Sorry for the long comment.
This was the most beautiful thing I’ve read in a while. And I would have said that even if it didn’t just so happen that my own husband proposed to me 3 years ago on Breakneck Ridge. ❤️
P.S. We also live in Manhattan (UWS, near Morningside Park)… maybe we can be friends?
The natural world accepts you as you are, without judgment. I love hiking and climbing. Once talking with a climbing partner we agreed on our only rules were: Use your gear right. Be nice to your belayer. Eat enough, drink enough, have enough clothes if the weather turns. See the rock, the woods, sky and water around you -- and your practical, functional body in which you move through this world.
Thank you for your writing.
So lovely. Nature is the best thing.
this is so beautifully written. thank you for sharing!
Wow. I am blown away by your writing. Absolutely beautiful. Also I identify with this. I have felt this feeling when doing physical activity such as this. Also for me, perhaps surprisingly, giving birth to my child helped my gender dysphoria. Beforehand I was so afraid of being pregnant, of giving birth, and of breastfeeding, because I felt so utterly disconnected from my “femininity” and worried that I would feel a deep pain at having to go through these “feminine” experiences. However, I felt the opposite of pain. I suddenly felt that I possessed an incredible bodily utility, a sense I had never felt before to that degree. It disconnected me from my self-consciousness about my body. I forgave my body, the body that I had been angry at for so many years, and I finally allowed myself to just exist as a human creature. I stopped analyzing myself and wondering what life would be like if my body was different. I was just thankful for my body and what it had done. I never expected it in a million years. But there it was.
I am glad you found the feeling your way. I hope for everyone that they can find something that gives them that sense of empowerment in their body.
This is beautiful, I so wish everyone struggling could feel the renewed sense of self you have found.
Excellent essay
Thank you for your story; it's really lovely and you're a really good writer. I have a genetic disorder that causes chronic pain, and sometimes I hate my body because of the pain it causes me. This part of your story reminds me of times I've also felt disconnected or far from home in my body, and how being in creation's goodness (I'm a Christian so I'm speaking from that framework) reminds me that I was also created for good, even though things are not "right" in my body now. Those mountaintop moments where we are united with the goodness around us are a foretaste (to me) of how everything will be set right and made new. Peace be with you :)
Thank you, Grace for writing this and we are so happy that you made it to the top of the mountain!
I love this. I tramp in NZ which is called hiking in the USA. I love living in my female body and maybe it's because I got to do this from when I was 12? And got to wander on my own as a 6 year old. So my body was always more than anyone looking at it. Good luck on your journey.
"Now, to be clear: I’m not trying to say that mountain climbing is a widely-applicable treatment for gender dysphoria. Not at all."
Funny you should say that ... I've just started a substack about the effects of wireless technology (microwave radiation) on health and the environment. As someone who fits the (essentially meaningless these days) category of 'trans' AND who suffers terribly from microwave sickness (so called 'electrosensitivity'), I have much to say on both topics.
To cut to the chase, I absolutely believe based on my research and life experiences that the explosion of dysphoria and identity related issues we have witnesses over the last 10-20 years is a direct result of the adoption of wireless tech (wifi, cell phones etc) which is having a devastating effect on our bodies (literally causing us all to vibrate at the wrong frequencies).
Those born at the turn of the millennium are the first generation in history to live their whole lives in a 'microwave soup'. Essentially, they have been born on an alien planet (relative to every previous generation). Microwaves belong in space. We are not evolved to cope with them.
Microwaves are known to cause personality changes, depression, anxiety, insomnia, a sense of doom, nausea, a feeling of revulsion etc. Many people can no longer stand to be around wireless technology (myself included).
Obviously there are all sorts of (mostly nefarious) agendas, politics, ideologies and other forms of 'meddling' attaching themselves to the topic of gender (and I do not wish to downplay their influence), but I believe microwave poisoning is a HUGE piece of the puzzle which is totally missing from the current 'discourse'.
Feel free to check out my blog (just started, bear with me) and let me know what you think :)
Loved this piece BTW and enjoyed your interview with B Boyce. Sorry for the long comment.
This was the most beautiful thing I’ve read in a while. And I would have said that even if it didn’t just so happen that my own husband proposed to me 3 years ago on Breakneck Ridge. ❤️
P.S. We also live in Manhattan (UWS, near Morningside Park)… maybe we can be friends?
Salutes to you for doing Breakneck Ridge. I would never even try.