15 Comments

What shines through in this piece is that you have both the capacity for self-reflection and distress tolerance, which seem to me to be key. Your more vicious detractors seem to lack these things.

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Thank you for sharing your story. As someone who is finally dealing with lifelong gender dysphoria, I've found that while it's hard for me to find direct relation to the stories of most detransitioners, I've also found that those (and your) viewpoints are often the most helpful and compassionate in helping me process my decisions.

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Grace, you are well named. I'm so grateful that you could share your story with so many people.

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I've been noticing that much of the rhetoric in GC circles centers around young kids (mostly boys), particularly among 'therapists'. Seems to me there is a general dismissal of the largest group of victims of this ideology - young women 18-25. Especially when they are being radicalized in high school to think this is in their best interests.

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Criticism comes from people whose own identities are so fragile. You don’t see that from all transpeople, but they don’t want proof their own illusion could have cracks in it.

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Through writing you can regurgitate your thoughts and rediscover your self by contemplating choices and past experiences.

So thank you for sharing this journey with us.

For me, at least, it is extremely compelling to follow your journey and with that to see how detransitioning influences one-self.

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I’m sorry that anyone who claims to be a conservative would be hateful. What I have learned in my journey to being a conservative is that they have sat quiet for so long they are now as angry as the other side. What people don’t understand is that this has all been a manufactured “them against us” because there is no truer saying then “United we stand and divided we fall”. Your story is heartbreaking and beautiful all at once because in the end you discovered yourself and the truth about the evil’s we face in a politically motivated society. My hope is one day we are all as brave as you are.

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I appreciate your writing and your willingness to become vulnerable to attacks like these in order to benefit others. I’m a Christian, conservative mom to a kid, “B”, who aspires to transition FTM. B is 16 and wants more than anything to get on testosterone and eventually have top surgery. We’ve had many heart-wrenching discussions about it as well as therapy sessions and we’re at the point where we can get along as long as we are not discussing this topic. B believes that I’m a bigot because I’m not supporting her in transitioning. I believe that if or when she does go through with transitioning she will come to regret it. All this to say that I’m glad to read stories of hope after detransition so that if she does go through a similar experience she can overcome regret and live a full and happy life. If I’ve offended anyone by using she/her pronouns for my daughter who has always been my little girl, I don’t know what to say other than she’s strong enough to handle it and she needs to be strong to get by in this crazy world we live in.

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Seriously, you have no idea how much you are helping people. You are wonderfully eloquent in your writing; you are blunt and honest, yet compassionate and empathetic. You weave golden notes of humour through your heartwrenching story. People will always get inflamed and overreact, especially about “incendiary” issues, as you so aptly described this topic. Since the beginning of time, people have been picking sides, making assumptions about others, and shouting down their “opponents.” Those people are loud and stressful, but I believe the majority of humans are truly open to listening to others and to accepting and even celebrating the complexity of life. Please never stop sharing your experiences. There is a vanishing small number of actually excellent writers writing about their life experiences online, and you are one of them. So thank you!

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Thank you so much for sharing your story. I've recently stumbled upon you and your writing and was struck by how compelled I was. Is there a full "my story" to read ? You're an amazing writer by the way ! Sending love and positivity to you.

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Grace you are beautiful for what you're doing, just IGNORE "them", and don't let anybody else say otherwise! If your writing even helps only one other then . . mission accomplished! I just finished reading ABIGAIL's "Irreversible Damage" and am impressed, it's right up there with Alice Dreger's works! Having grown up in the late 70's I cannot believe how OUT OF CONTROL "trans" has become these days I finally turned to "GC" after being BANNED (lol repeatedly) from many sites myself.

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The binary says, "trans rights are human rights"

Why couldn't they just type it? Lmao

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I’m sorry you have to cop so much different crap from people just telling your story. I have a little sympathy for the trans critics. They’re in a lot of pain and it hurts when someone questions your set upon solution to that pain. I get mad though when conservatives give people crap (being more of a conservative bent myself). Being 22 doesn’t make you a good decision maker anymore than being 18 does. I remember being 22 and well… I was kind of an idiot too. Everyone is a bit of an idiot in their early 20s you really do think you’re invincible. So where all those conservative critics. You and many others also had the added distortion of a significant and poorly treated mental health issues on top of being 22 and invincible.

I for one am glad you wrote up your story and put it out there. Even if it makes me feel a little uncomfortable, that’s on me!

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Hi. Would you be open to a short zoom to meet? I have a podcast BumpInTheRoad.us and would love to talk to you. BumpInTheRoad@protonmail.com

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Hi Grace! Are you interested in talking to me about this for an interview?

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